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about the girl.
kym.
20.
born 29th september 1989.
working.
living for the sake of it.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
K I shall update, since I haven't in a while. And I finally figured out why I stopped having the urge to blog or update. It's because of this thing called PLURK. (Rollover for link) Yes, it's all Plurk's fault because after having it, I just update short notes there and get things I want to say out of my mind right there and then so I don't see the need to blog anymore.
Yanhong! Since you were saying you've been blogging too much and all of it are short ones, maybe you can try using Plurk. Less time consuming and a little more fun.. I guess?
--------------------------------------- Today has been a rather shitty day. No mood to talk to anybody in particular, which explains my absence from MSN, Plurk, Skype, gmail and whatnot. I even turned off my phone for the most part of the day until my mood got slightly better after family dinner. So much on my mind the entire day all because of one nightmare. I can't get the images out of my mind and it keeps haunting me, which kinda explains why I'm still awake now even though I didn't get to sleep much last night. I haven't had such a bad nightmare in a while, I woke up crying, shivering and drenched in cold sweat. The images were so vivid and the pain seemed so real I swear I could feel a tinge of it. Just the thought of it sends chills down my spine again.
One thing though, I couldn't seem to see the face of the girl that was in my dreams but she seemed so dear to me. It felt like she was someone really important and even though I couldn't see her face and I didn't know who she was, in my dream I still had the urge and courage to rush forward to save her no matter what. Her physique resembled some of my friends though, in which case I hope I'm wrong.
I keep telling myself, "It's just a bad dream, it's just a really really bad dream, nothing is going to happen" but I still can't seem to calm down or forget about it. Maybe it's a sign, maybe it's telling me to appreciate the people around me more. Maybe we should all go hide in caves because of an impending solar fart. Just maybe. .. okay ignore the solar fart part, the movie "Knowing" left a huge impression.
I guess here is a good place to start. To all my close friends, I love you all, even though its something I don't say. I seriously find it hard to say stuff like that even though I know its easy for some people, its just the way I am. I guess it's this constant fear that it's not reciprocated? Plus I'm just brought up in a family that doesn't ever say stuff like that to each other. Also, hugs, I like them, I have nothing against them but its just awkward sometimes?
Okay nevermind, I'm straying from the main point. Main point is I really appreciate the times we had together, the good and the bad, because it'll all turn into precious memories I'll probably never be able to replicate 10 or 20 years down the road when we're all too busy with our own lives to care about each other. Thanks for always being there for me, listening to me, nagging at me for my own good and basically just being an awesome and caring person to me. I don't say it, but I take all these into account and I really appreciate all the efforts. I try to do the same for you guys but sometimes I'm just not good enough. For that, I'm sorry.
This is getting really long-winded so I'm gonna stop and try to go sleep even though I might not have much luck. It's 3.30 and my eyes feel like they're gonna pop out soon. Night.
P.S. Esp you Ghastly, thanks for everything. <333 no where, at all.2:37 am
