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about the girl.
kym.
20.
born 29th september 1989.
working.
living for the sake of it.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Sitting here at home at 3:54 in the morning with a humongous ginormous serving of vodka and coke makes me miss some people. Would be so much nicer to drink myself silly with some good company rather than drinking alone. I still want more SoCo and lemonade. Anyone fancy going to Cuscaden anytime soon?
Something is definitely wrong with me today and yet I can't exactly put my finger to it. What I do know is, it's making me feel really crappy, which explains the ultra strong concoction in my hands. I think my brother saw me sneaking around getting the vodka. Ah well, who the fuck cares. He didn't see me pour it, so I'll just lie and say I only added a teeny bit if he asks.
Maybe that's my problem. I keep lying. Or maybe turning into an alcoholic is the problem. Or maybe my problem is I'm no longer motivated to complete my studies, which is really stupid since it's the final semester. Or maybe that's the problem, it's the final semester, and I'm sick of it all.
All I wanna do, is to escape overseas. The US, UK, France, Holland, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, Korea or maybe even Africa. Just get me out of here. There's so much more to see in this world, so much more to experience. Yet, I'm stuck in this area and I can't leave till I work for at least 3 years. I know it's my choice, I know it's the best option and the most sensible one, but as usual, my heart and head are having arguments. Sometimes, it just isn't easy when you want to follow your heart, or heh, follow your intuition. I don't practise what I preach, I suppose.
Speaking of heart and head arguments, I really am conflicted because I don't know what to do anymore. The other day, I nearly lost control and put my head on his shoulder, wanting to tell him stuff. This part of me really wished I had done it, just to get it out of my system and end it once and for all. But once again, my head prevailed and I'm still in agony. I really don't know whether sensible decisions are for my own good or not, they hurt just as bad anyway. Maybe being mature and thinking things through isn't always a good thing.
I came here wanting to leave a few words and yet I've left this whole huge chunk of emo talk. I'm sorry if you wasted your time reading this, I never claimed my blog was interesting. -Shrugs-
Two links because surveymonkey only allows 10 questions per survey. They're actually the same survey. Please help out. Thanks a lot. (:no where, at all.3:53 am
