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about the girl.
kym.
20.
born 29th september 1989.
working.
living for the sake of it.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
I was randomly blog hopping and linking to other blogs to have a read like I usually do when I'm bored and I chanced upon this post by a friend's friend. As I read it, my eyes began to water but I held back the tears.... somehow. When I was done reading, I asked myself, "Why the hell did I want to cry when I was reading it?" And all I could think of was, "She's exactly the same as me."
I know I can't lie to myself anymore. I know I'm always just putting up a facade. I know I shouldn't fall for close friends. I know I don't fit in. I know I'm unpleasant. I know deep down I'm a self-hater with low self-esteem. I know I'm always too trusting and get hurt because of it. I know not all of my friends regard me the same as the way I regard them. I know I care too much about my friends and end up getting hurt or worried a lot. I know I'm not really comfortable around people, regardless of how I act as if I am. I knew all of this from long ago and yet, I chose to disregard all of those feelings. Somehow, I just made myself not think of it so much so that I almost forgot how it felt like. Now all of a sudden I've been reminded of them again all at one go. And all of a sudden, I just want to clamp tight and shut everyone else out again.
How far I've come, all gone to waste.
Excuse me while I wallow in self-hate and pity. no where, at all.6:02 am
