Monday, February 05, 2007

All of a sudden, my world just came crashing down... again.

I seriously don't understand how one phone call could change my mood so dramatically. It really would've been a wonderful day if it wasn't for that phone call. Why did you have to call me at such a time? Why did you have to tell me all those stuff now? Why is it that just when my life is starting to look up for me, you pull me back down? Why?! Why?! Why?!

I told myself I've cried enough over this and all my tears that were shed for you have dried up deep within the depths of my heart. But I can feel the floodgates begin to slowly open once again and I can feel myself getting affected all over again. I honestly shouldn't be feeling this way, I shouldn't and I can't afford to as well. There are far too many other things for me to be worrying over and the last thing I want is another major load to be placed upon my chest, pressuring me, suffocating me and killing me slowly.

I think I jinxed it. Once I feel even a slight tinge of happiness and I start telling someone about it, something else usually crops up. Call me superstitious or whatever, but it has happened enough for me to know better.

Fine, so I'll just remain a loner like the one I am atm so I won't be even TEMPTED to talk about my slight tinges of happiness from time to time. I don't belong anywhere anyway, and I believe that point has already been made clear to me.

Ugh, everything is just superficial. Why isn't there anyone I can talk to freely without worries or doubts or anywhere I can feel safe and feel a sense of belonging to?

Well, sorry for being emo again if you're getting sick of it. But then again, it's my life, so leave me be. I'm gonna be cutting myself away from everyone soon so it wouldn't matter anyway.

Signing off
Emo Little "Out-of-Place" Misfit

no where, at all. 8:49 pm

about the girl.

Monday, February 05, 2007

next best thing to kbox: cbox.

the past that haunts her.

thanks.