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about the girl.
kym.
20.
born 29th september 1989.
working.
living for the sake of it.
Friday, December 15, 2006
I did not sleep last night, I'm falling ill and I screwed up today's tests, wee.
Ya know what? Fuck it lar, seriously.
Why did I choose this course in the first place anyway? I asked myself that again recently and I still couldn't answer myself. I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOOD AT. I'M GOOD FOR NOTHING, I SUCK AT EVERYTHING I'M DOING. ARGH. FRUSTRATION.
I'm still very confused as to whether this chance should be given. On one hand I'm afraid of missing out on something great. On the other hand, I'm afraid of history repeating itself. Bottomline, I'm afraid of everything. I should just die for being such a coward, really.
Sometimes its not like I don't wanna trust people and I don't wanna tell anyone anything. I just find it hard la, especially when so many things have happened and you don't know whether to follow your heart or your head. Its.. just so fucking confusing and annoying.
The Lee trio had a nice bitc -cough- I mean.. talking session tonight. I enjoyed it and I guess it served the purpose of relieving some of my pent up emotions.
Someone said something to me today that made me feel quite special. I would never have known that you actually trusted me if you hadn't told me today. I guess.. I just couldn't feel it. But now that I know, I'm actually very glad, although I didn't show it. You must learn to share more of your thoughts and feelings with us k? Its just frustrating when you know your friend is troubled, and you're concerned about that friend but they don't tell you anything. Makes me feel like I can't be of any help and I'm really useless. Even if its true that I can't do anything about it, I could always just lend a listening ear. You know I'd be glad to. So ya, if you need me I'll be here.
Reason I'm writing all this here and not telling you straight is because I don't exactly know how to express myself if I were to tell you all this. I guess writing it down here and letting you read it would be better than me err-ing and ahh-ing and trying to find the right words to express myself.
I hope you don't get bothered by people that don't deserve our respect. Being bothered by them is already showing a wee bit of respect. And perhaps they don't deserve even that wee bit.
I shall go rest a while and go TRY to study marketing.
